Why I Reinvented The Wheel
Have you ever heard of the Wheel of Life? Would you like to know what your wheel of life looks like?
It was my favourite tool when I started my coaching practice. It was great as it helped my clients find clarity and focus. It is a very simple model. Have a go yourself:
Choose 8 (approximately) areas of your life that are important to you
Draw a circle and split it into 8 pieces: each representing one of the areas of your life
On the scale from 0 to 10 mark the level of satisfaction you are currently experiencing in that part of your life
Join the dots together to see what your wheel looks like. Is your wheel moving smoothly or is it skewed in one or more areas?
Decide which area of your life needs the most of your attention and energy.
Picture1: The traditional version of The Wheel of Life
Now answer these questions:
what is working in this area now?
what isn’t working?
what would level of satisfaction 10 look like in this area?
why do you think it isn’t working?
what is the biggest challenge?
And finally:
WHAT IS STOPPING YOU?
Take a moment and reflect: what is stopping you from moving forward or reaching the magic number 10? The most common answers I heard were:
“I don’t have enough MONEY”,
“no TIME”,
“I’m too TIRED”,
“I always attract BAD LUCK”,
“I come from a POOR FAMILY”,
“I’m NOT AS GOOD as others”,
“I just DON’T THINK it’s so easy”,
“the REALITY is…”
“I DON’T KNOW…”
I’ve heard it all
And I too have said it all before! We all do! You are not alone!
My mission is to help you to find the REAL reason why you are stuck and find that inner power to help you to remove the blockages.
After just a few coaching sessions, my clients usually arrive at the same conclusion:
The real blocker is: ME
and my biggest saboteur is: FEAR
Now, if fear is the stopper that is blocking, demotivating, and taking your power away… what would be the opposite? what can you “use” as our weapon against it?
Would it be: bravery, being fearless, super-powerful confidence …?
What is the opposite of fear?
I have been searching for the right answer for a while, studied psychological literature, listened to many spiritual (and not so spiritual) teachers and even explored the Bible, and eventually arrived at my conclusion:
Let me answer with a quote by Elisabeth Kubler Ross:
“There are only two emotions: love and fear. If we’re in fear, we are not in a place of love. When we’re in a place of love, we cannot be in a place of fear”
Suddenly everything made sense! The opposite of fear is LOVE and the foundation of true love is loving self.
Just think about that one person you truly love (your child, partner, or parent). Now, imagine they are in trouble, they are really struggling with something or are really upset, and you know how to help them. Unfortunately, by helping or saving them you might be putting yourself at risk, or people might judge you or laugh at you as a result of doing it or it might cost you a lot of money. Would it stop you from helping your loved ones? I’m sure you wouldn’t because in this case love is stronger than fear.
Now, if you felt the same amount of love towards yourself, fear would no longer be able to convince you that you are “not worth it” or “not good enough” or make you feel guilty for doing something for yourself.
My exciting (at least to me) discovery made me rethink the way I approach coaching and the questions I ask.
Each area of our lives is a manifestation and reflection of the way we love ourselves. If we don’t fully allow self-love into our lives, then we leave room for fear to creep in and let us think “you don’t deserve more”, “you are not that good”, “you’ve reached your limit”…
This inspired me to slightly redesign the Wheel of Life:
Picture 2: The Wheel of Life: Love versus Fear (by Kasia Nissanka)
Do it with your wheel: replace the “level of satisfaction” arrow with self-love versus fear arrows.
The coloured area of the wheel represents self-love and the blank space shows how much room is taken over by your fears.
Now, ask yourself:
“how much self-love am I allowing in this area of my life?”
“how much room do I leave for my fears?”
Think about where you put more energy: is it love or is it fear?
What is the ratio of love vs fear in your wheel of life?
What would happen if love conquered fear?
Self-love – just like a ripple of water – radiates across all areas of your life and manifests as joy, satisfaction, and acceptance. When you are in that state, the possibilities are endless!
What would it feel like and what would you do if you were no longer afraid?
Picture 3: Self Love radiating into all areas of your life manifesting as acceptance
I hope you enjoyed this short exercise. I would love you to share your reflections with me. Please comment or click here to book a free discovery call to find out how you can become FEAR-LESS: